I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
