I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
