I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
