Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
