At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
