I can tuck mytits in my pants
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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