So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
