white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
