I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.