If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.