...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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