Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
