I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize