Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
