Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
