and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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