just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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