i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
