Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
