ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
