love makes seman taste better
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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