Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
