I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
