I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize