can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
