It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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