return my video game
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
