Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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