Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
