She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
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