Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
BRING THE BAGELS
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize