I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
