I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
