They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
