she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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