I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
