He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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