also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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