Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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