She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
