i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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