She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
