we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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