I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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