I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
