i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
