Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
