Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize