if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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