i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
