K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
