The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
