did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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