there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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