The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize