dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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