if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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