I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize