The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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