I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize