david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize