I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
