I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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