he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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