I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
