No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
